I had a houseguest coming for Easter so I had my house cleaned, and that whole process upset me more than I thought it would. I probably used to be a hoarder. I would have called myself a packrat, and I’m better now, but still the place had gotten quite cluttered. My husband used to do the cleaning and I’m really not very good at it.  But having the house cleaned was really awful. I’m sure I’ve mentioned before how much I love my house. It’s practically in Fontenelle Forest and the whole back is windows to a view of my wooded back yard. But now it just doesn’t feel like mine. It doesn’t feel like home. All the surfaces are cleared, and there’s nothing of me here. I feel erased. I can’t find anything I want or need. Every place feels too bright and too big. All the coziness is gone. All the personality is gone. It feels alien. And I don’t feel like I belong here. I didn’t clean my home office, so I’ve been spending a lot of time here at the computer. It’s the only place that feels like home. When my guest leaves I can ‘cozy’ the place up again, but right now it just all feels so wrong. I guess I didn’t handle Spring cleaning very well. I’ll probably try to keep the dining room clean for when the CultureQuest team meets here. And even before the clean up it wasn’t hoarders bad, but it was comfortable, and now it’s not.