time does not heal all wounds

people all kept telling me it would get better with time, but i never really believed it. and it's coming up on a year now, and it's not any better at all. the pain is just as harsh as the day it happened. today i was coming home from the movies and drove past my old house (as i do sometimes) and thought of the time gordi came to see me and then got stuck in the snow and it took him an hour to get himself out of the parking place. and then i suddenly start sobbing and i can't breathe and tears are running down my face. for the past 11 months i've been getting up in the morning (or afternoon) and doing what i have to do like go to school but there isn't a minute i don't miss him. there isn't a minute i don't wish we were together. it hasn't gotten any easier. it hasn't gotten any better. i still cry every day. many days i still sob, i'd say 'like my heart would break,' but of course it already has. i know people feel like they have to say something, but all along i felt that saying it would get better was not only insensitive but incorrect, and so far that's still my experience. it doesn't get better. it can't get better. it isn't any better.